Something To Hold On To
by Kris10x157
Summary: Hermione is struggling to maintain a grip on the spinning world around her. She wonders off on a midnight walk desperately seeking comfort in something solid, something stable, something concrete. She’s not looking for love… just something to hold on to.


She sat nestled in a corner by the fire, feet curled up under her, eyes staring unseeingly in to the red embers. Her brown bushy hair was tied back loosely in to a bun, her face was a mask of blankness, contrasting incredibly with the mound of pictures and thoughts that were racing through her brain.

She jumped when she felt a pair of warm fingers graze across her neck from behind. Turning, she found herself face to face with Harry.

"Hermione?" he asked, his voice full of concern. "Are you alright? You seem a little… uhh distracted lately?"

She could feel her stomach squirming uncomfortably. She hated lying to him. She hated herself for so many things these days… "I'm fine," she replied, forcing a tight smile on to her lips. She stood up slowly from the chair and stretched her slender arms up towards the ceiling, feeling her body unroll. "I'm just tired," she stifled through a yawn.

He gave her a doubtful look but walked away slowly. She hated how guilty she felt. Shaking her head slowly in an attempt to rid herself of these feelings she walked toward the portrait hole. She needed to get out, she needed to get away and clear her head. Things had become increasingly complicated throughout the past year. It was like everything was spinning in front of her now, the ground she was standing on wasn't even standing still. Everywhere she looked everything was in motion and she felt as though she would die if she didn't find something to hold on to soon.

The corridor was warmly lit with torches, providing a calming atmosphere, glowing in an almost hypnotizing way. But the high arch windows were dark and full of snow, a sinister contrast to the inside. She could feel her head clearing slightly now, she just needed to keep moving. She had no idea where she was going but she knew it was better than standing still.

Voldermort was growing more and more powerful by the moment. Every door way she passed by she felt as though he would soon burst out of. He hung on the corner of every thought, on every breath, on every whisper. The whole school was captivated with fear. She was sure that the school would explode with tension and apprehension soon. There was no way they could go on like this for much longer. It was amazing to her that Harry was the one who was sentenced to battle him, the one who should be the most panicked, the most nervous, the most broken down, and yet he was the one making sure that she was okay. She pushed this thought aside, the thought of Harry fighting Lord Voldermort sent a shiver down her spine, causing goose bumps to rise up. She just didn't see how any of this could turn out well in the end. She wished sometimes it could just all be over. And what about Ginny and Ron? She had no idea whether they would make it out of this alive either. Or Fred and George? Or Dean and Seamus? Sure, the students tried to put on a façade of merriment, but she knew it had to be artificial, she didn't see how everyone else could be okay when she was so torn up inside.

She stopped walking suddenly and reached a pale hand out to touch the stone cold wall. The feeling of the hard granite blocks was reassuring and solid. She pressed her back against it, feeling the cold calm her blazing neck and allowing her knees to bend slightly as she slid slowly down the wall. She sat with her knees brought to her chest, gazing at the gray floor, examining every crevice and break, anything to distract her from the terrible thoughts running through her head.

She heard the noise of a heavy wooden door shut behind her, and she scrambled quickly to her feet, her heart racing wildly. She found herself face to face with Draco Malfoy.

"Granger?" he said, a note of surprise replacing the usual sneering tone.

She didn't answer at first, just looked at him. She was too shocked to utter a single syllable. She had forgotten where she was, believed herself to be alone. She was uncontrollably angry and yet remarkably relieved at the same time that he had interrupted her meditation. She found she longed for human interaction but fled from it at the same time.

He was tall and well built. His muscles weren't huge, but they were defined and she was sure would feel protective and secure if they were wrapped around her. His hair was a white blond, falling carelessly and effortlessly in to his eyes which were a dazzling ice chip blue. They were so cold… and yet there was a faint sparkle in there somewhere that seemed to hint at something deeper.

"Granger…?" he repeated again, his voice edged with a hint of concern now.

She brought her hands to her eyes and rubbed them vigorously trying to snap herself out of her trance. "What are you doing here?" she managed to ask feebly.

"Just thought I'd take a walk… couldn't sleep very well," he answered, his voice trailing off with embarrassment at the end.

She nodded, thinking to herself that it was odd that she didn't find this meeting stranger than she did. It was as though after the initial shock she felt comfortable and relaxed, as though she met him in the hallway often. But the whole time something at the back of her mind was reminding her that this was the same boy that was usually insulting her. Why had he changed suddenly? She brushed it off, it didn't matter right now. There were bigger things to worry about.

"Same," she said, backing up against the granite wall once more and sliding back down to the floor. She couldn't help but find comfort in such a solid object. To her complete and utter surprise she watched him as he hesitantly at first, walked over and sat down beside her.

"You know… it's all going to have to end eventually…" he said softly, bringing his icy blue gaze up to meet her brown one. She found that she had to break from it first, and returned her attention to the stone floor.

Nodding slowly she said, "I know. But how many of us will there be left when it does?"

She was expecting him to answer her kindly and tell her everyone, but instead he shrugged in a sad way, and he too began to stare at the floor. She smiled slightly, there was something beautiful in someone telling her the truth.

"Are you really on their side?" she asked him slowly, almost scared of the reply. She didn't know why, but all the sudden she wanted with all her heart for him to be good. For him to not be the boy that she had grown up with. She wanted him to not be a Death Eater like all the rumors claimed that had flown around school. Right then she saw something in him that she had never seen before. He seemed pure and innocent, and concerned, he seemed truthful and caring, he seemed hesitant and yet confident, he seemed like a friend.

He didn't answer her question for a long time. His gaze continued to be fixed upon the ground even though she knew his eyes were unseeing. She wondered if perhaps she had ruined the moment, perhaps she had offended him. But then he replied slowly, "I didn't really have a choice. I would switch if I could. But it would mean the death of not only me but also my family. I had to get in to the business to save my father, and now I'm pretty much stuck… Sometimes I think it would be better if I just let everything go completely… but at the same time… It's a scary thought. I don't like being who I am but I feel like I'm trapped in it." He finished slowly, looking up at her for a sign of acceptance and understanding.

She nodded. It was amazing how things could get so complicated so fast. She felt the tips of his fingers graze over her own palm which lay on the floor beside her. Instinctively she opened her hand and he intertwined his fingers with his. It was a gesture of understanding, a gesture of acceptance. This act seemed to fit all the other events that had been happening. It was just as terrifying just as confusing. She knew that she should hate him, but he seemed so desperate, so incarcerated in his family's mistakes.

"I'm sorry…" he said after a few minutes. This time she looked up at him to meet his eyes, and she could see the sincerity there. She felt his body shift as he turned his hips to face her. She didn't' remove her gaze this time, but felt as though she were mesmerized by his unblinking, intense, stare. His face was coming closer, his blond hair falling casually in to his eyes. His mouth looked soft and welcoming. He was inches from her now, centimeters. It was so wrong and yet so right.

He stopped when he was a hairs breadth from her. She felt as though she were going to explode with all the feelings at once. It was that whisper moment right before a kiss. He wasn't going to rush it. She could feel and hear him breathing, his warm breath upon her face. She could smell his cologne. Slowly she closed the gap and her lips touched his. He kissed her slowly, but intensely. She felt his lips graze over hers with more gentleness and caring than she had ever experienced. He brought his hand up to her cheek and caressed it gently. Running his fingers from her cheekbone to her chin. She brought her hands up to his shoulders and was surprised to feel the solidness there. He was warm and solid. Something to hold on to. She grasped him firmly and tightly.

She felt his tongue slide across her lips and she parted them slightly. His tongue was on hers. It seemed as though this one simple action was the most intimate feeling she had ever experienced. She could feel goose bumps racing down her spine once more, but this time in a much more pleasant manner. He was kissing her faster now. She could feel his desperation. His need for reassurance. His need for comfort. She responded. She grabbed him tighter, his hand ceased movement and simply cupped her face. His tongue delved deeply in to her mouth, struggling against her. She heard a soft moan escape from his lips. He broke from her suddenly. His other hand still held hers. He gazed at it and then squeezed it slowly.

He stood up, dragging her with him. She followed, feeling as though this were the only thing that made since in the world. He led her slowly towards the door that she had heard him come out of just a little while before. She knew what was in store for her, and still she followed him. She found that she wanted it as much as she knew that he did.

The room was dim, lit with a single torch on the opposite wall. It was a classroom, cluttered with desks and a few strands of paper. She could see the comfort in it though. It was secure, she felt as though no one could find them here. It was warm and yet the darkness made it seem as though it should be cold. It was inviting and yet fearful. It was organized and yet random. It was everything they had come to know. She could understand perfectly why he would seek comfort in it.

He shut the door behind him, turning to face her immediately. He brought his other hand down to grab hers, and walked forward until she found herself pinned against the wall. He brought his lips in to contact with hers once again, savoring the feeling of warmth and comfort. He took another step forward so that there was no gap between their bodies. He was leaning against her slightly, allowing enough pressure for her to feel his presence. He brought his kisses from slow to fast, each one more desperate, more demanding, more wanting. He pulled her hands up over her head, pinned against the solid door with his own. He could feel her heart racing and knew that his was probably doing the same thing.

She could feel her wanting growing strongly. She had never felt more protected and yet more vulnerable at the same time. She kissed him fiercely, a soft moan escaping from her lips. He let go of one her hands, bringing his own down to her waist and teasing the bottom of her shirt. She let out a gasp at the first touch of his warm fingers against her stomach. He smiled slowly and dove his tongue deeply in to her mouth as he allowed his hand to slip up her shirt and over her bra. He ran his hands a long her smooth breasts, feeling the softness of her skin. He ran his hand in circles, feeling her squirm against him with desire.

Once he couldn't stand it any longer he led her over to the desk. It was empty beside from a stray paper. She sat on the edge of the desk, tentative all of the sudden. He stood in front of her, bringing his lips toward hers once again. His hands quickly found the hem of her shirt and lifted it slowly off her body. He stood for a moment and admired the beauty of her body. Her breast were round and firm, cupped lightly by a white lace bra. Reaching his hand behind her he unsnapped the bra and watched in delight and anxiousness as it fell the floor in a small pile. He met her gaze for a moment, sensing a fleeting look of doubt and insecurity. Giving her a reassuring smile he held her gaze for a moment before dipping his head down to run his tongue along her breast. He kissed slowly from the top of her left breast to the middle, where he ran his tongue lightly across her nipple in circles. He could feel her back arch in pleasure. He nipped slightly upon her nipple and he felt a surge of pleasure as she tangled her fingers in his blond hair. After repeating the procedure upon her left breast, he brought his mouth to hers once again.

She kissed him back with a ferocity, and a longing that he had not expected. His hardened member was becoming uncomfortable in tight pants. He quickly brought his hands down to the waist of her jeans, unbuckling, and watching with pleasure as she wiggled out of them. He played teasingly with the hem of her underwear, sliding a single finger under the hem and then bringing it out again. He heard her moan above him, encouraging him to continue. With a sudden movement he slid his hands down her pants and rubbed her swollen, wet folds. She moaned loudly. He quickly slid her underwear off of her and pushed her down upon the desk.

He climbed on top of the other end of the desk, opening her legs slowly and teasingly. He was erotic with her desire and longing for him. He kissed her stomach lightly, and left a trail of kisses down her navel. She held her breath as he reached the v patch of skin. He ran his tongue slowly along her folds, feeling her exhale in pleasure. Then, much more quickly he circled her clit. Without warning he slid his tongue deep in to her and brought his fingers to her clit, rubbing her in circles. She could feel herself wigging in pleasure, her breath coming in heavy gasps now. He brought his face back up to hers, kissing her deeply, allowing her to taste herself upon his lips. He slid a finger in to her while they were kissing, causing her to gasp in to his mouth. He slid in a second, pumping in and out of her with increasing speed.

"Draco…" she murmured.

He smiled at the look of desperate longing on her face. "Do you want it?" he asked slowly, kissing her neck and up to her ear lobe.

She nodded.

"Do you want it?" he whispered in to her ear again, just as he inserted a third finger in to her and delved deep.

"Yes," she whispered back, her back arching in pleasure and her voice coming out in a quick breath.

He needed no other urging. His clothes practically flew off of him, exposing a toned stomach and an erect and hard member. She ran her hands across his chest, feeling his bare skin. He held himself just above her center, touching just the tip of himself in to her warmth, and feeling himself gasp in pleasure. He held her gaze steadily and kissed her one more time on the lips before delving deep in to her. His eyes practically rolled in to the back of his head in pleasure. He could feel her warmth all around him, her walls tightening and contracting on him. He increased his speed, wanting her more than he had ever wanted anything in her life. She reacted immediately, moving a long with his pace, kissing every inch of him that she could reach. Her hands squeezed his toned shoulder, nails digging in to this skin in pleasure and longing. He moved faster and deeper at this, until he couldn't hold it in any longer and exploded inside of her.

They lay for a moment, still entwined upon the desk, mesmerized and shocked by what they had just experienced together. His hand was moving slowly along her skin in amazement and appreciation. She felt her lips move in to a small smile. This was the first time that she had felt someone warm and solid beside her in a long time. She held on tight.


End file.
